I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
