Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
