Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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