Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
