I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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