At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
now i know why i became what i already was.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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