Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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