is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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