he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just high enough for therapy.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
