This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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