I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize