p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize