Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
