you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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