If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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