rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
