God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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