Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
where are my eyebrows?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
