One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
