Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
