I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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