home. puking in laundry basket.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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