You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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