Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
