would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I am available for nakedness
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
