I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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