I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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