Betty ford says i'm here all night
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
