I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
