nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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