She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so let's talk penis.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
