My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
