we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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