Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
There's always time for handjobs
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
