Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
