So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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