What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
