2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
