It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
