I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
