ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
