I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize