so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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