how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
