his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Your cock deserves a montage
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize