Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
