my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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