I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
