i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
two words: eviction party
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
