Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
