And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
