with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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