Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Less talking, more tequila
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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