ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
