i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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