"it" just moved
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
